Ever since a conversation i had with Damian (the manager at Crippie) this morning i have had this uneasy feeling in my stomach. My experience on the streets has been great so far. I even feel blessed to have experienced the things that seem to be "negative", because it better allows me to speak out, with a greater knowledge and understanding, about those very things. But that specific conversation this morning really put me in a bad frame of mind. I shouldn't let it get to me, and am usually pretty good at that, but i don't seem to have power over this one. I can't seem to get it out of my head, and i just feel down about it.
Basically, Damian told me that he was told by another lady (i won't mention names as to not get anyone in trouble in any way) that works for another organization, that "several" of the NGO's are not in agreement with what i am doing, and they are "boycotting" me. Now that actually sounds kind of funny when i type it and i actually don't even know what that means, but yeah. Damian told the lady that he would tell me and he did, and then when i inquired about who exactly she was talking about he called her to find out. She said she had gotten the information from a colleague who had been to a meeting where this was talked about. Apparently they were upset because i did this without consulting them or including them. This is strange for me because i sent out a press release for that very reason two weeks before the 16 days, so that if anyone wanted to meet up they could. I got contacted by several people from several different organization who showed support, and a couple that even wanted to meet. And that we did.
So i don't know who has a problem, and what it is all about, but i want to make it clear that i am not doing this for organizations. I am doing what i am doing for the kids. I do however want everyone involved with them to be involved with this, but the only way to do that is by making contact. Likewise, if people really do have problems with me, i would like to think that we are adult enough for them to come to me and we can talk it out. This whole thing could however just be a big misunderstanding and maybe no one has a problem. I have always tried to work with everyone, and work against the organizational politics, that only make the situation on the streets more complex. So i guess there could be a bigger reason why this even came up at all. For me to highlight this point.
One thing i have experienced is there is a lot of competition and organizational politics within this sector. I think it has gotten better since when i first came here, but it still exists, and it holds the kids right where they are. I hope for a day when we can all work together, agree to disagree about certain things, and work in unity towards finding solutions for these kids. No one person can do it alone! But it requires dedication to teamwork and networking, along with all of us basically being willing to "work ourselves out of a job". I hope this happens! I hope that others are striving for the same thing!
So here is the venue. I am opening it up. Please feel free to contact me if you have a problem with what i am doing. Please let me know how we can better work together. Please let me know if you support what i am doing. I need that too! Both negative and positive input are greatly needed for anything and everything we do in life, both privately and professionally. All i know is that i have seen eight years of children dying, drugging themselves stupid, wasting away, and being ignored by society (until they get under society's skin, that is) and i can't bear to see this for 8 more years! Desperate times call for desperate measures. This is my desperate act. I pray and hope that i have your support, even if you don't fully understand or agree with it.
I am sorry if this blog came off a little whiny and PMSy! This is normally not my style. But this has just been bugging me all day! Thanks for letting me vent!